Nature is a constant. It’s always there for you, waiting to be appreciated. No matter how you’re feeling or what you’re doing; the mountains stand steadfast on the horizon.
This creates a paradox. I overcame a quad injury last week. I sunk down into some pretty negative thoughts. I questioned if I have the strength to finish this hike. Yet while these thoughts spiraled through my mind, I was walking through some of the most beautiful terrain of the entire trail. Views of Maine’s lakes from 4,000 foot peaks helped to lift my spirits and assure me that I can, need to, and want to, finish this thing.
I’ve overcome so many more setbacks than I anticipated before beginning this journey. And I’ve done it all alone. My biggest takeaway is realizing that I’m way stronger and more resilient than I knew.
I am very honest in this blog post about going through an emotional low. I’m not complaining in order to garner pity or attention. I’m just trying to stay true to myself and depict exactly what this thru hike is like so that you can understand how hard it is! I know that it’s a privilege to be out here hiking the AT and all of these challenges are of my own choosing.
7/16 Zero in Bethel, ME (8 miles)
If there ever was a proper time to take a zero, it was today. My body took a beating through the Whites and the beginning of Maine.
My activities today included walking to the outfitter to get some dehydrated dinners, eating a huge lunch of a breakfast burrito and pancakes at Crossroads Diner, exploring Bethel’s tiny downtown, and resupplying. I grabbed dinner with Mantis, who I met on the trail yesterday. He’ll have finished the Triple Crown once he finishes the AT! I really enjoyed hearing about his experiences on the other two trails. He was super nice and paid for my dinner too.
I walked at least 8 miles today, and the temperature was in the 90s and sunny. The campground that I stayed at the past two nights is 1.5 miles from town, the outfitter was a mile from the campground, and I walked back and forth to town twice. It felt light compared to a regular day of hiking on the trail but it wasn’t ideal for a “rest day.”
Dinner with Mantis
7/17 Grafton Notch to Hall Mountain Lean-to (16 miles)
I woke up naturally at around 5 AM both mornings in Bethel, feeling refreshed and ready for the day, which I think is cool. In my life before the trail, if I woke up at 5 AM, I’d feel exhausted and want to go back to sleep. Whether it’s all the exercise I’m getting, so much time outdoors, getting to sleep earlier, or a combination of all three, I want to implement them all into my life after the trail to keep being able to wake up early.
Today I hiked over Baldplate Mountain. It’s appropriately named – the peak was bald, and was completely covered in rock slabs. The ascent and descent on Baldplate were more gradual than on Mahoosuc Arm and Old Speck. The terrain got easier today too. The ups and downs got even more gradual, there were some relatively flat sections, and much less rocks on the trail.
Today I felt demoralized because despite the terrain getting easier, I hiked really slowly – less than two miles per hour. That’s because my left quad, which was bothering me a few days ago, still felt sore. It definitely didn’t help that I walked 8 miles in crocs, with a light pack, yesterday on my “zero” day in Bethel. I also regret not stretching more yesterday. Every step up and down with my left leg became uncomfortable today. I started using my poles as crutches to take some of the weight off the left leg. I stretched for a long time at camp tonight, which made the quad feel slightly better. If it doesn’t feel better tomorrow, then I think that I’m going to have to take a proper zero somewhere soon.
Approaching the summit of Baldplate
7/18 Hall Mountain Lean-to to South Arm Road into Andover, ME (7 miles)
My quad felt fine at camp this morning, but quickly became aggravated – my day consisted of two steep downs and two steep ups. By the end of that, my quad was seizing up, every step was painful and I had actually hiked 1.5 miles north of South Arm Road. At that point, I decided that the smartest decision was to turn back, hike 1.5 miles down the mountain back to the road, and go into town. The 1.5 miles downhill were painful, extremely slow, I could barely bend or flex my left leg, and I had to use my poles to reduce the weight on my leg.
This was a disappointing and upsetting moment for me. I’ve been trying to adhere to a pretty rigid schedule in order to finish my hike the weekend of August 1st, so that my family can be there. Getting off the trail and coming into town likely means that I won’t finish that weekend. I’m going to take at least one zero here tomorrow to rest.
My disappointment didn’t last too long. At the end of the day, this journey is about me. I just want to complete my thru hike. If my family can’t be there, it’s not the end of the world. It’s more important for me to take care of myself and ensure that I can complete the hike. This is just another setback in my journey. Hopefully I’ll look back and laugh at how disappointed I was about finishing a few days later in hindsight.
I’m staying at The Cabin in Andover, which is a lady named Honey’s home. She made a shepherds pie and salad for dinner, and a cookie cake with ice cream for dessert.
7/19 and 7/20 Double Zero in Andover, ME
I decided to take two full days off from hiking. Hopefully the rest was good for my quad. It’s felt fine walking around on level ground. I’ve also been stretching it a ton. The moment of truth will be when I start hiking up and down mountains.
These two days in Andover have been a mental/emotional low of my hike. The hike has been amazing, but lately I’ve been reaching a point of feeling ready to be done and go home. I want to be with family, take care of myself (not hike 15+ miles per day carrying 45 pounds every day), and eat well. I’m sick of the hiker diet. Andover is kind of a depressing town to be stuck in. There is one business in town, a general store, which serves some hot food but it wasn’t very good or healthy. Luckily I was able to get to a Hannaford supermarket 30 minutes away in a larger town to get some halfway decent food to eat. I spent most of these two days sitting in my tent. I’m ready to get back out there and hopefully hike strong until the end.
The fact that I put up with sitting around Andover for two days shows me that my mind is still in the right place. I’m still extremely focused and driven to make it to Katahdin. If I wasn’t, then I would’ve left Andover after my first night here and gone home.
7/21 South Arm Road to Tentsite (12 miles)
Today was another upsetting day. It took me all day to hike 12 miles, with only about 3,500 feet of climbing and descending. My quad felt fine in the morning. I started off slow to ease back into hiking. But by the afternoon, my quad was hurting again, as if my double zero did nothing to help it. I felt like I couldn’t hike any faster even if I wanted to. It hurts the most on downhills. With this injury, I have to inch my way down mountains, heavily relying on my right leg, and using my poles to take as much weight off of my left leg as possible. I don’t like taking Advil because I feel like it can mask an injury, and I can make it worse without feeling it. I had to take Advil this afternoon to ease some of the pain.
No part of today was enjoyable. Lots of negative thoughts crept into my head. I have some big mountains coming up, how is my quad going to handle them if I can barely get over these smaller ones? Will my body be physically capable of finishing this thru hike? What sucks is that the injury is forcing me to go slower than I’d like to, drawing this hike out. I want it to be over.
I thought about why I am even doing this if I’m not enjoying it. Mainly, it’s to be able to say that I thru hiked the entire trail, and to do it for all of the people who believe in me. I don’t want to give up. Thoughts of home pervaded my mind, especially thinking about taking better care of myself. I feel like this thru hike is reaching a point of being unhealthy. My worry is that I’ll do permanent damage to my quad. If the pain becomes that bad, then I’m definitely getting off trail and ending my journey. I’m not risking a long-term injury.
7/22 Tentsite to Piazza Rock Lean-to (15 miles)
My leg felt better today because the terrain was relatively flat. I got amazing trail magic at the Route 4 trailhead. A generous group of locals spend every Tuesday during the summer doing trail magic there. They grilled fresh cheeseburgers, and also had freshly made lasagna, shepherds pie, pasta salad, garbanzo bean salad, cake and cookies. I spent a few hours there enjoying all of the food!
Rangeley Lake
The Tuesday trail magic crew
7/23 Piazza Rock Lean-to to Spaulding Mountain Lean-to (16 miles)
Today was a great day. My quad didn’t bother me at all! It was a very mountainous day too – I did 5,600 feet of climbing and 4,600 feet of descending – and my quad felt ok. It was a huge relief. I was stressing out about how I’d feel over these big mountains. Maybe whatever muscle issue I have is healing. I’m trying my best to engage my glutes, take smaller steps, and use my poles to reduce the strain on my quad.
Saddleback Mountain was gorgeous today. The mountain itself was beautiful; the trail went above treeline and traversed open rock faces, and the views from the summit of surrounding peaks and lakes were stunning. Those views made the last few days of struggling worth it. I felt like I was on top of the world up there. I pulled out my peak finder app on Saddleback Junior, and it labeled Katahdin far in the distance. I thought I could maybe see a vague outline of a peak in that direction. I’m hesitant to call this my first Katahdin sighting because it was so far away and I couldn’t be certain that I actually saw it.
When I was down in the dumps about my leg, I was prepared to only make it about 11 miles today. I’m very happy that I got this done today, because it means I’ll make it into town tomorrow!
Saddleback Mountain’s stunning summit
7/24 Spaulding Mountain Lean-to to Route 27 to the Hostel of Maine (13 miles)
Today I hiked over Spaulding, South and North Crocker Mountains. The ascents and descents on the Crockers were pretty steep and rocky. My quad felt great! I’m hopeful that my quad is getting better. I also hit mile 2,000!
I made great time to the trailhead, got picked up by the hostel around lunch time, and got some wraps and fresh fruit for lunch at the local grocer. This hostel is one of the nicest that I’ve stayed at along the whole trail. It has a huge living room with leather couches, a dining room with lots of seating, and comfortable bunks. The building looks like a log cabin. For the first time in a while, I felt like I had time to chill out at a hostel. I feel like I’ve been swimming in positive energy after a few rough days, which is refreshing and validates why I am out here in the first place. I’m also beginning to see the end of my journey – it’s probably only a week and a half away! That’s a crazy thought. I’m going to be very emotional when I summit Katahdin. I’ve worked so hard to get here, and encountered more adversity than I expected, which will make this accomplishment even sweeter.
Mile 2,000!
7/25 Route 27 to Little Bigelow Lean-to (15 miles)
I got a late start today and hung out at the hostel until 9:30 AM. They had a fantastic breakfast including hard boiled eggs, muffins, cereal, fruit and bagels.
Today was another serious day of hiking, with 5,000 feet of gain and 4,600 feet of descent. The peaks that I covered were South Horn, Bigelow West Peak, Bigelow Avery Peak, and Little Bigelow Mountain. Bigelow West Peak was super sketchy. It started pelting rain sideways and gusting wind right as I was on the final ascent. The wind was almost strong enough to knock me off my feet. As per usual, the terrain was rocky. I was very careful with each step to avoid slipping, but I got over that peak as fast as I could because it was fully exposed.
I don’t know where southern Maine officially ends, but in my books, it ended today with the Bigelow range. There are no more 4,000 footers until Katahdin and it looks like there are lots of relatively flat sections until then. It’s kind of weird how the last stretch of the trail gets a bit easier. I’ll gladly take it. I’m happy that I’m done with the hardest part of the trail – the Whites and southern Maine!
Weather hovering over the Bigelows
7/26 Little Bigelow Lean-to to Pierce Pond Lean-to (17 miles)
There were two short climbs this morning. Otherwise, there wasn’t a ton of elevation change! The trail meandered past several ponds. Each one had an amazing view. I swam in Pierce Pond at camp tonight. It was very refreshing. I also watched a beautiful sunset over the pond.
Sunset over Pierce Pond
7/27 Pierce Pond Lean-to to Bald Mountain Brook Lean-to (18 miles)
There’s a sporting camp 0.3 miles from Pierce Pond Lean-to called Harrison’s Pierce Pond Camp. It’s a log cabin on beautiful property owned and lived in by a man named Tim. The property has cabins on it where fishers and hunters stay. Since it’s so close to the trail, Tim offers thru hikers a home cooked breakfast every morning of pancakes, eggs and sausage. It was delicious.
A few miles later, I reached the Kennebec River. It felt like a milestone of my hike. The river is several hundred feet wide; too wide, deep and powerful to ford, so every day between 9 AM and 2 PM a canoe goes back and forth shuttling hikers across.
There was a climb up Pleasant Pond Mountain this afternoon. Otherwise, the terrain stayed flatter with lots of short ups and downs. The terrain has lots of rocks and roots on the trail. I was expecting the day to feel easier. I forgot that lots of short ups and downs get tiring too.
On top of Pleasant Pond Mountain I had cell service, so I took a break and opened Instagram. I saw one of my friends post a picture of a big group of hikers together in Monson. I was a little bit sad not to be with them, perhaps if my quad didn’t get hurt I would be a few days ahead with them.
However, I’m also using that picture as fuel. For one reason or another, I’ve completed the vast majority of this trek alone. That is something I did not expect beforehand. I’ve previously shared this, but my perception of the AT was that hikers, especially those around my age, stick with a group to hike the whole trail with. Hiking alone means that I hold myself accountable, and I have to motivate myself to keep going every single day. I don’t have anyone by my side to motivate me or make the miles go by quicker. The biggest obstacles that I’ve faced – sickness, injuries, and a heat wave – I conquered alone. I’m proud of how strong I am. I think that will be the biggest takeaway of my journey.
Canoeing across the Kennebec
An extremely rooty section of trail
7/28 Bald Mountain Brook Lean-to to Route 15 into Monson, ME (22 miles)
I hiked over Moxie Bald this morning, and then had a relatively flat 12 miles with lots of those short ups and downs, and rocky/rooty terrain. It was hot out today and I was getting pretty exhausted. The day that I hike into towns is always hard, because I’m counting down the hours until I can eat warm town food! To make the day harder, I realized that I’d have to hike 3.3 miles farther than I expected to reach the hostel pick up location. Those miles had 800 more feet of climbing too. It wasn’t too bad though. When I made that realization, I felt my body kick into that higher survival-mode gear that I’ve tapped into a few times on my hike.
I was super excited arriving at Shaw’s Hostel in Monson! It’s the last hostel and major town stop of my thru hike. They did a trail magic barbecue for hikers at the hostel with chicken, salad and pasta salad. It was great to eat a healthy meal. I met a bunch of new hikers at the hostel too. I’m excited to spend time in Monson tomorrow on one last zero day before finishing this thing off!
The view from Moxie Bald
